Monday, July 8, 2013

Yellow Kryptonite

Faster than a speeding tortoise, more powerful than a locomotive (made of marshmallow fluff), able to leap small buildings at a single bound (as long as he in an airplane with a backwind and Denzel Washington is piloting it, drunk or sober)! Look! There on the couch! It's a guy! It's a bag of potatoes watching TV! It must be MS Man!

Yes, MS Man, strangely diseased visitor from North Troy, NY who has the ability to stare off into the corner for hours (see above picture) far beyond the powers of "Normal People"!  MS Man, who can change a car lane at any minute, bend Twizzlers with his bare hands (possible nap needed following demo), and who, disguised as Tom Martin, a mild mannered but clinically depressed retiree from a county government cubicle, fights a never ending, for truth, justice, and the way out of the room he just walked into trying to remember why he walked in there in the first place.

Those of you familiar with the Superman mythos know there is only one thing that can stop the Man of Steel and make him die a few times at least, and even do weird things - and this of course is Kryptonite...

which does look like the dilithium crystals from Star Trek, but Superman had it first, so OK with me.  Anyway, Kryptonite are parts of the planet Krypton (Superman's home planet) that exploded and, for some reason seemed to have followed the alien child in his ship to Earth, because he can not seem to get away from this stuff in TV or comics or movies.  The pieces come in various colors and sizes like this:

The effects on Superman/Boy/Girl/Dog change as needed for story lines.  Now MS Man (and Woman) fears only one type not noted in the above page.  Our nemesis is Yellow Kryptonite (no such stuff has gone after Superdude, yet).  This very large piece of space junk is known to Earth people as that ball in the sky,  called the Sun by native earthers or Slovenian: sonce, Croatian/serbian: sunce, German: sonne, Italian: sole, etc.  The burning piece of hydrogen gas is called Sol by the galaxy travelers, except for one small Empire in another quadrant of this galaxy that calls Sol and its environs "Legumia and the All Star Hot Buns!" Nobody really pays attention to them.

The yellow sun of this system may help life exist on this gatherings of rock, and give our buddy Superman his super powers, but one step into the light during the months of May to September in the Northern Hemisphere and our nemesis can suck the life out of us, forcing us to retreat inside and watch more TV.  Add in Sol's fiendish friend Mr. Humidity and we became dazed, confused, and in need of an espresso hit fast.  We find a Dunkin' Donuts a good replacement for the Fortress of Solitude, plus you can get munchkins there.

Truly, our Fortresses of Solitude is anyplace that the air conditioning is blasting in the low Kelvin range.  And there are other people sitting around you that have no idea that you are actually MS Man or MS Woman.  Just another person with the paper and a mocha cooler.  Sometimes we will even go to the cinema and sit through the Lone Ranger for two hours plus for the icy soda and popcorn.  Then we can walk at our own pace (assuming we sat in the "handicapped" chairs) and get to the air conditioned car so we go back to our air conditioned homes.  Summer's great, isn't it?

Even Superman can have an off day. And we don't need the Man of Steel to tell us MS Superheroes and Superheroines to know that autumn is a mere 76 days away.  Guess I should mow the lawn sometime before that.

Over 4000 visits.  Thanks. More to come.

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