Monday, January 14, 2013

Year Four - Falling Down

I fell over today.  Now just about every human being can say that statement, so I'm feeling part of the vast collective here, but there's always a difference when you add MS to the mix.  Yes, I know, I don't have official MS - see the previous post- but the many lesions on my brain were having a great time with me today.  Because as Dean Martin says....

Dean and I are not related, by the way.  And winter is a marshmallow world.  For me, in more ways than one.

It's a typical Sunday morning for us.  Breakfast, the newspaper, CBS Sunday morning.  Jackie had some errands to run so we agreed to meet at Dunkin' Donuts around noon.  Off she went and I futzed with some chores and then grabbed some laptop time.  I noticed that a plug had become loose under my desk so I slid down to my hands and knees, crawled under the desk, and tightened up what needed to be tightened.  I backed out slowly so as not to hit my head on the edge of the desk, nice and safe.  And then got ready to stand up.

Nothing happened.  My knees would not work.  I did the internal reboot that MS sometimes requires, and tried again.  I dragged my right leg up and then, holding on to my chair, pulled up the left leg.  Here's where the marshmallow stuff occurred.  It was like Dean and friends had replaced my knees with Marshmallows.  Walking became weird, and dangerous.  If Monty Python needed new entries for the Ministries of Silly Walks, I had a doozy.  Worse, it was time for me to head out and meet Jackie at DDs.  A slow dragging slog across the living room ensued,with sponges and Marshmallow Fluff for muscles and tendons.  Must get iced coffee.... Eventually I was able to get everything together and get out the door, but it was five minutes before the legs started to function at the (new) normal level.

No problem driving the car, but after a donut and coffee, Jackie headed off on more errands and I returned home, this time to clear the driveway of ice and snow.  I stepped into the garage and grabbed a box of holiday ornaments that were going to the shed we have on the back of our land, and where my ice scraper was.  I carried the not overly heavy box with me at about tummy level, heading toward the sloping snow covered back yard.  I saw some ice by the back of the house where it had built up from the melting roof snow.  Simple to step over that.

But my leg didn't go up as high as I thought and then down I went, the box of ornaments gliding away like a sled full of happy Hallmark people.  Okay, I fell over.  Happens. Get up.

I said, get up.  Nothing.

Now this is where those mind movies happen.  What if I'm stuck here? What if I just can't move? The lesions have opted for a blitzkrieg, and here I sit totally occupied.  I'd have to wait until Jackie came home.  All kinds of scenarios played out.  But then I said to myself what I normally say - Get up, and that is an order.

So I did.  Slowly, deliberately I got up, this time no marshmallow knees, and grabbed for the box and made my way to the shed.  I stepped in my little hovel away from home, and breathed deeply.  My body had responded, albeit in its time.  And I was able to get the work done that I needed, Jackie pitching in when she got home.  Then football, college basketball, dinner and Downton Abbey.

Maybe it was a warning sign, maybe not.  I'll admit to being slightly scared, and since I'm writing this at 4:14 AM, some achy muscles have added to the uncomfortableness.  I've got support group and other projects for the day, but I will see what I've got available as far as energy is concerned.

Marshmallow world, my sore butt, Dino.

Thanks for reading.

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